gekidazejanai | Entries tagged with sick

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I'd love to say I'm on a roll, but I'm not. Sitting here in the quiet not feeling good is giving me too damn much time to think. Mostly about how lonely I am. I never meant to be a single dad, I wanted us to be a family. I had everything all figured out, and it would have been great. Then it all fell apart. I love my little girl, I do, but...you can't confide in a little kid the kinds of insecurities and worries of the adult world. They don't understand, and it's not fair to make them. Sleeping alone can be the worst. After a long day, when all you want is someone to hold you so you can relax and let go of everything, a double bed is cold and kind of unwelcoming. I don't know. Maybe I just need to go out on a date or something. Not that it's easy as a single parent who works full time, but other people make it work. Ugh...I think I need to try and get more sleep, being sick makes me morose.

Current Mood: depressed

Thank god my parents had Arashi this weekend. I had a blast hanging with Choutarou like we used to when we were younger, well we added wine to the mix this time. Then I woke up today with a fever and now I think I've got some stomach bug. Choutarou, I really hope you don't have this too, and I might be calling in sick tomorrow too just to be on the safe side. I called my mother once I knew she'd be back from taking munchkin to preschool and asked if she and dad could take Arashi for another few nights. I don't want her catching this crap. At least I think I remembered to call Kabaji and ask him to pass the message on to my little girl. Ugh...I hope that was everything I needed to do to make sure she's taken care of, I don't even know right now. Feeling like hell still.